Porn Star Promises Cavs A Gang Bang If They Make The Playoffs

TMZ – Question: How do you fix the hapless Cleveland Cavaliers? Answer: Porn star gang bang. At least, that’s the solution hardcore adult actress Ava Devine offered up in NYC the other day … in fact, she’s such a big Cavs fan, she’s willing to take one (or 5)  for the team. “If [the Cav’s] make the playoffs … I will bang them all and bring a girlfriend,” Devine said. She also wanted us to know, “I can handle them all by myself.” That’s a dedicated fan.

Uhhh. Thanks, but no thanks, Ava. I think if I was on the Cavs I’d tank strictly to make sure this Amazon doesn’t come after me. Forget about Jabari Parker, the real point of tanking for this team is so Ava Devine doesn’t want to fuck you. Not like NBA players have any trouble getting pussy anyway. I mean this sorta motivation works only when the chick is hot. Take Major League II for example – that bitch owner was a nasty little minx. They wanted to see her naked so they made the playoffs. Ava Devine over here? Not so much. What NBA player would be impressed with this beast?

Although this is the Cavs we’re talking about. I’m sure Kyrie Irving is banging chicks left and right but the rest of those clowns probably take whatever they can get. Like there’s no way Anthony Bennett is getting pussy. Right? Please God tell me Anthony Bennett isn’t getting laid like real pro athletes do. He’s averaging 3 points and 2 boards. Hes the worst number 1 pick ever. All those other clowns like Varejao – fucking that chick Ava Devine should be a huge deal for them. As far as I’m concerned that bum Anthony Bennett is probably a virgin.